Safety Blanket
by Miss Romance-Lover
Summary: Rae finds herself caught in a familiar humiliating situation. Only this time she isn't alone...


Safety Blanket

Rae regularly endured flashbacks of her school days - in particular the ones that had contributed to her mental breakdown.

But the main one was all about a horribly traumatic day in the showers after PE, where a group of girls had stolen her clothes and left her there, alone and completely humiliated. And it had only happened the year before, not long after her sixteenth birthday.

College was different, though. Here, the people were more mature. And more importantly, she had friends now. In her school days, Rae had been a loner amongst a class full of mean girls; _now_ she had the likes of Chloe and Izzy on her side.

The thing was, Chloe was ill today, and Izzy didn't share all the same classes with her.

Which was why she found herself with no back up when, despite her naive hopes, she was targeted once again.

Rae didn't often go for showers at college - partly due to her past experiences, and partly because she couldn't bear for the other girls to see her body - but today she'd been running and, quite frankly, she _stunk_.

She waited anxiously until every other girl had been and gone. Then, knowing she was going to make herself late for English but not really caring, Rae sped into a cubicle to undress, throwing her towel up to hang over the wall that separated her from the empty room next door.

She then stood stock still for a further moment, dwelling. She knew there was no one else around, but still she couldn't help wishing there was some magical way of keeping her clothes nearby without them getting wet. But finally, with a reluctant sigh, Rae slid her flannel top, long-sleeved t-shirt and leggings underneath the door and turned the water on.

_It's not going to happen again_, she told herself. _This is college now. No one here would be that cruel._

She would later tell herself it was this thought that was her downfall.

Letting the water soothe her aching body, she closed her eyes and forgot the world for a few minutes.

When she finished her shower and opened the door wrapped in the towel, panic spread through her more rapidly than that time Chloe's cigarette smoke had set off the fire alarm in the swimwear shop.

Her clothes were nowhere to be seen.

Rae tore her way around all the showers, searching frantically even when she knew she wouldn't find anything.

The consequences of this would be far worse than being seen on the street in her bra and knickers. Here, everyone knew she was the resident mad, fat girl. After today she would be known as the mad fat girl with a habit of wandering around in a towel.

Unless she just stayed in the girls' changing rooms for the rest of her life.

She dropped down onto the bench, looking around at all the empty clothes hooks and lockers. Not one single person had accidentally left something behind. There wasn't a jacket or even a sports top in sight.

Not that any other girl's forgotten garments would even fit her, Rae mused.

So what the hell was she going to do? Usually when something went wrong, she ran away. Or, on a slightly more sane day, she'd turn up at Kester's door.

Today, the one thing she _couldn't_ do was run.

Most people were bound to be in a lesson by now, including any of the friends she could rely on to rescue her.

Or so she thought.

"Rae?"

She froze. The voice calling outside the door belonged to Finn. She could have died right there and then.

How could he know she was in here?

"Rae? You in there?"

He sounded worried now, and she almost replied. The fact that Finn still cared about her amazed her, but friendship-wise they had just got back on an even keel and this was the last thing he deserved. Why should he have to come to the aid of the idiot girl who dumped someone as perfect as him?

Plus there was also the fact that she was terrified of being naked in front of him - it was a major factor in their break-up - and now here she was, covered in only a towel, with only a door to separate them.

And yet, in her twisted mind that rarely ever made sense, Rae couldn't imagine needing anyone as much as she needed him in that moment.

"Look, I can hear you _breathing_ in there, you know! I've just seen Izzy on the way to the library with your English class, and she said no one's seen you since Games."

Now his voice was edgy. The worry still came through, but he was getting impatient, she could hear it. And so she decided, if he was going to let her whereabouts bother him that much, she was going to have to say something.

"Finn?" She had no idea what possessed her to question it. Of course it was Finn.

"Yeah, it's me. What are you doing in there?"

_Oh, you know,_ she thought drily. _Just having a one-woman sexy party. As you do._

But the tremor in her voice proved she wouldn't be able to carry off a response like that right now. So all she said was, "nothing."

There was a soft thud against the door, which Rae assumed to be Finn's back leaning on it.

"That's obviously a load of bollocks," he argued. "Has something happened?"

"I'm fine, really. Aren't you late for something?" Her voice was flat, and she knew she was making a weak argument when he laughed in disbelief.

"I'm on a study break. Don't change the subject. Are you gonna come out here?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Rae took a deep breath. He clearly wasn't going to give up. "Because someone's stolen my clothes."

"You _what_?"

"Someone stole my-"

"I heard what you said, Rae. I just...why the hell would someone do that?"

She buried her face in her hands. "Why wouldn't they? It's not the first time. Stupid of me to hope it wouldn't happen again because I'm not in school anymore."

She heard Finn let out a deep breath. He didn't speak again for another minute. "What did you do? The last time it happened, I mean?"

Rae remembered cowering at the back of the school shower room, scrambling desperately for something to cover herself with. At least this was a step up from that day, she thought, running her fingers along the towel she was wrapped in.

"I just...hid, until the school nurse came and found me. She gave me an old jumper from lost property to wear, and these jogging bottoms that were miles too tight. I had to walk past all the other girls in them, while they stared and laughed and pointed..."

At some point in the conversation her memory had run away with her, and she came to a sudden stop, forcing herself to shut down the flashback.

"Is that...?"

"Is it what?" Rae shook her head at the casual, yet delicate chat she was having with her ex-boyfriend. It was hardly the time or place, yet she didn't want to stop talking.

She felt safe like this, where no one could see her but Finn's voice was there to keep her company. For brief moments she could almost forget the inevitable trauma coming her way: being seen like this.

"Is that what made you...hurt yourself?"

The safety blanket she'd found herself in now began to unravel. She didn't want to talk about this.

Then again, at least Finn wouldn't be able to see the shame and embarrassment on her face when she answered.

"It was part of it," she admitted.

He was quiet once again; so quiet that she wondered if he was still there. She was on the point of giving up on him when she heard movement outside. "Can I come in?"

_What was he playing at?_ She stood up in shock. He must realise that she was naked, except for one measly towel. Why would he want to-

"Rae?"

"I can't...I can't let you in." she stumbled over the words. On the other side of the door, Finn turned around, his hands pressed against the door.

"I know it's girls only in there, but I won't tell if you don't," he joked.

After a beat of silence he continued in more serious tones. "Look," he said softly. "I don't care what you look like. I should have told you that ages ago."

Rae gasped, unable to hold it in. She could almost feel it, the strength his admission was sending her way.

"There's no one else out there, is there?"

She heard Finn's gentle laugh, allowing it to wash over her. "'Course not, you numpty! Everyone's still in lesson. My study group are in the library. I was sort of skiving."

"So it's only you that'll see me?" her voice was starting to shake again. Whether that was down to nerves, or the upset from having her clothes taken, she wasn't sure.

"It's only me, Rae. Promise."

Making sure the towel was secured tightly around the body she hated, she slowly padded over to the door, hardly able to believe what she was about to do.

When she opened it, Finn took a step back, smiling that delicious smile of his. She tipped her head to the side, gesturing for him to enter the room, and he did so, shutting the door behind them.

He could have barged in at any time, Rae considered then as the thought occurred to her. The door wasn't locked, and yet he had been so patient with her; had waited until she was ready to let him see her.

It was torturous knowing that, had she not broken up with him, he would probably have behaved in exactly the same way when it came to them having sex for the first time.

Rae turned around, taking in the sight of him in that leather jacket - the very same one she had returned to him weeks ago. He looked so perfect that she got lost in the view, and it wasn't until he was trying to talk to her that she looked down at herself, recoiling even more now that her body had an audience.

She shivered, suddenly feeling cold. Before she knew what was happening, Finn was draping the jacket around her shoulders.

"Here. Alright?" he asked now, and Rae couldn't reply. She wasn't sure if it was his unconditional kindness or, again, the vulnerable state she was in; but tears were pooling in her eyes.

"Hey..." without warning Finn pulled her close, and she allowed herself to be held in his arms. That safety blanket reappeared, and she could feel it's warmth surrounding her.

"It's gonna be okay, Rae," he said, his lips buried in her hair. It was the last thing she expected of him after the way she had treated him, but she wouldn't have dreamt of complaining. "I'll go and get you some spare clothes. The lost property box is better than nothing, right?"

Rae laughed loudly, pulling out of his embrace. He raised an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

She was laughing at herself; it was like a light had been switched on in her brain. "It's just..."

"What?" Finn repeated.

"Well, it's just that one of the reasons I broke up with you was because I was scared of undressing in front of you. Not because it was _you_," she added hurriedly. "But because I can hardly bear to look at my body in the mirror, let alone have anyone else looking at it."

His face was unflinching, giving nothing away. But his tone was hard. "Why is that funny?"

"It's not. But I wasn't finished. This is the most comfortable I've ever felt in my own skin, and that's thanks to you."

His gaze softened, and Rae could see his eyes taking in every inch of her; even her legs with the faded scars showing.

"You're beautiful," he murmured. "I've always thought so." Then he looked at his watch, so casually it was almost as if he hadn't spoken such words.

Only, there was no way Rae would ever be able to forget them.

"I'll be right back, okay? We've got ten minutes before everyone turns up for their next lesson here. If I run there and back, we should just make it in time."

And then, with a wink and a smile, Finn wandered out of the room to find her some clothes.

In his absence Rae considered that maybe, in a twisted sort of way, the girl who nicked her clothes had actually done her a favour.


End file.
